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Enjoying Local Leaders’ Vacation

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But then Miss Reporter picked up a copy of Greg Gutfeld’s How to Be Right, and realized that exercise would be futile. Gutfeld argues hipsters today let “emotions rule logic and feelings trump fact.” They speak in “fact-free rhetoric.” After all, persons with scientific knowledge are socially awkward and so easily lose debates to smooth-talking hucksters. They also have jobs in lieu of the luxury of protesting, blogging, or otherwise reaching out for attention. Drunks are another group with little standing in the way of them voicing their opinions.

Compounding the problem, Gutfeld suspects, is the Left’s knowledge that hard-core Conservatives advocate true principles. Gutfeld is too nice to be so blunt, but the Left lies for short-term personal gain. Sure, career Republican politicians do the same thing, but defenders of the Constitution get the big picture Gutfeld tries to share. The Left will shout down the Right in a number of ways. It is the Left that changes definitions of words, name-calls, rewrites history, and falsely assigns malicious intent. Writes Gutfeld, “When you’re a conservative in the media, you will be hated and villified, and your life will be threatened. These days, truth is no longer necessary.” To give some examples, he says, “If you call them on the debunked study on campus rape, they will say you are pro-rape. When you say police are only reacting to volatile situations the best they can, they will say you condone brutality.”

Cutting to the chase, Gutfeld writes, “Here is the simple answer to why you are Right: It is a more practical, generous, and compassionate way to live. For a liberal to ‘get’ the assistance he desires to pay for programs and education, that wealth must be created by people who cannot afford to think liberally. Conservatism is where the rubber hits the road. Liberalism is a hobby when things are going good.” In a brief history, Gutfeld says safety in the world following WWI “afforded the luxury to contemplate rebellion as a hobby.” Rebellion was the new curriculum in academia, the default stance in mass media, and “a wonderful way to guilt people into paying for stuff and ceding power to you” in government.

Gutfeld tells how, after years of debt and blisters, a successful entrepreneur arrives, only to have Liberalism show up to demand its cut. In a second example, “You put in the hours in the kitchen, you make a great taco. While this seems so obvious, it’s no longer so in schools. Instead, our children are taught that identity is more important than industry.” For a third, “Ben Carson has saved more children’s lives than all the members of the Congressional Black Caucus combined.” Whereas each generation of the Left demands a chance to try on its model of failed socialism, Conservatives necessarily get stuck being the cleanup crew.

Before getting into details, Gutfeld observes Righties lean toward what he calls “big-ticket miseries: Islamic terror, tyrants, radical regimes, toxic ideologies, deadly criminals, vicious gangs.” By contrast, the Left “focuses on smaller outrages and infractions (properly titled microaggressions),” The Left gets, “angry about incorrect pronouns for the transgendered, Barbie dolls creating unrealistic body types, men clumsily flirting at work;” while letting  things ride like, “gays flung from rooftops, women’s hands chopped off for cellphone use, and women beaten for driving.” The objective is not liberty and justice for all so much as “to get you to apologize, to get you suspended, to get you fired.”

As a cure, Gutfeld suggests sitting a Leftie down, listing his and your priorities, putting them in order of importance, and then saying something like, “’So, while I applaud the work you do for the voiceless, remember that others are doing more important work – fighting to protect your right to spend your time in such a luxurious, self-indulgent, attention-seeking manner.” But Gutfeld knows the beat will go on. Even though Righties are the ones to whom Progressives will run when trouble breaks out, the mass media will cover for and explain away lies by the Left, “even if the corrupt act had a massive impact on the American population. (If you like your doctor, you can keep . . . .)”

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Even though the book is thinly veiled as a humorous, how-to book; Gutfeld nails tripe running around in current media circuits better than the pundits, him excepted. Following are some great tidbits that shook out after the book was diced and spliced.

Cult of the Presidency: Mocking the Left’s use of language, Gutfeld writes “When President Obama referred to the January 2015 attack on a Jewish market in France as ‘random’ the same week his White House stated that global warming is a bigger threat than terror, it could lead to only one conclusion: that our president and his minions are ‘terror deniers.’” Coming closer to articulating unspoken worst fears among news watchers, he adds, “If there is one true Islamophobe, it’s Obama. He is so terrified of p***ing off Muslims.”

As for general foreign policy, Gutfeld points out the Obama administration treats ending wars and winning them like a false dilemma. “Fact is, we live under an administration that sees winning only as a strategy for elections.” Comparing the POTUS to Putin, Gutfeld says, “Putin takes and takes; Obama’s in the kitchen making low-fat brownies. You don’t bring a community organizer to a KGB fight. Especially a community organizer on vacation.” Obama “denies external evil because he’s obsessed with the sins of his own country, which he intended to fix. The enemy cannot be wrong if he already assumes we’re the guilty party.” But Obama is the media’s favorite child.

As for the heir-apparent, he illustrates how Hillary’s aides are fending off any criticism with cries of feminism (as opposed to racism). He recalls the backlash from commentary when a blood clot presumably kept Hillary out of the Benghazi hearings. “’Thirty days in the hospital?’ [Carl] Rove said, ‘And when she reappears, she’s wearing glasses that are only for people who have traumatic brain injury? We need to know what’s up with that.’” Instead of going along with the crowd whining, “Feminism!” Gutfeld suggests the only way to undo a never-ending stream of Bush errors will be to “elect Michelle, then Chelsea.”

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